Wednesday, June 22

Sunrise today at 3:54. Sunset today at 22:50. Length of day is 18 h 56 min.*

I meant to take a photo of how light it is even here in Helsinki, which is in Southern Finland. (I have never been to Lapland this time of year, but plan to go some day.) But on Sunday I didn't have my camera with me. Yesterday I was too tired to go for a walk. And today I'm too busy. Sorry.

I can't help but feel somewhat anxious around this time every year. What, it's Midsummer already?? But the summer just began! Where did June go?

For a couple of days I'm filled with fear of summer slipping away before I notice and have time to enjoy it. And I have to say that the word Midsummer feels a bit depressing, because in Finland the summer really has only begun, and more often than not June is a cool month. So I have to remind myself that two-thirds of this summer is still ahead.

Finns tend to make a big fuss about the summer solstice - which is not so surprising considering the fact that six months ago we only had meager five hours of sunlight (or less, if you happen to live somewhere north of Helsinki); BBC describes the Finnish Midsummer more or less accurately here. I'm not going to try swimming across a lake, wasted or sober, but as most of the population in Helsinki, I'm heading out of the city tomorrow. Have a good weekend. I know I will.

*From the Finnish Meteorological Institute website

Monday, May 30

what's up

I seem to post on four month intervals now (even my sister asked if I'm ever going to blog again). Funny, but the less you blog the more difficult it gets. The longer the blog-break, the heavier the responsibility of writing something worth reading is - and I haven't felt like anything I have to say lately is worth reading, if I have anything to say at all. I haven't even read that many blogs, or at least not as many as I used to, and I have a feeling I've kind of dropped out of the Blogosphere. here...

However, here's a quick roundup

January and February were crazy-busy. Like so busy I thought after just one week of the spring semester I can't make it. I probably couldn't have made it through the semester, judging by how knackered I was after January...

...but suddenly it didn't matter, 'cause I got an internship in Helsinki, contrary to my own beliefs (I haven't dared to ask yet was it because I was the only applicant, or because I practically begged for them to take me).

So I moved myself and very few of my belongings to Helsinki in March and was once again quite tired from having to get accustomed to a nine-to-five job (the only good thing about being a student is I get to sleep in most mornings) and learn all kinds of new things. The boy kindly agreed to offer accommodation for the three month period...

...which suddenly changed into six months when I got another internship in Helsinki area. SIX MONTHS (that's half a year, people) in the Boy's one-room flat. Yay. Suffice to say that even though I consider myself lucky not having to rent a flat in Helsinki (I'm still paying rent for my room in Tampere), I would never have agreed to living six months with him in 33 square metres. I try to take it one day at a time and not think about the months still ahead, which has worked surprisingly well for me. As for the Boy, he still wants to officially move in with me in a year, and I guess if we survive these six months in one room, living together in a bigger space will be a breeze.

So. It's been a busy spring, even though I seem to have accomplished nothing. And suddenly summer is almost here. It's just behind the corner, and like every year, I'm panicking. Maybe it is because summer, though long awaited, always manages to sneak on us - before I realize it flowers are in bloom every year, leaves on trees are getting bigger by day, and for a breathless moment I'm afraid it's all going to end before I have time to enjoy it. The nights that are getting lighter and lighter, the first timid flowers and the endless singing of the birds - miracles in their own right. I fear it's all going to go as fast as it came, and I'm going to miss it...

Monday, January 10

new beginnings

In 2010, I was mostly silent in this space. I think it had something to do with the decision I made when I started this blog: I wasn't going to write about negative feelings. I didn't want to use this space for complaining - though I now see it might have something to do with my inability to voice my negative feelings in general, not just in my blog. But sometimes, like in the past year, this decision makes me mute.

It's not that 2010 was all bad, of course there were many good moments. But when you haven't been blogging for a while writing a post becomes harder and harder. You feel like you have nothing worth saying. And to be honest, I just didn't find the energy. 2010 was quite a strenuous year for me - maybe that's why I've lately felt like I need recharging.

My hippeastrum, bought a week before Christmas, opened nine flowers on it's two flower stems. I thought the third stem, a very short one, would never flower - but now it's budding. I hope something new is budding in me, too.